Thingling Meets Cougar
My name is
Gerald and I’m 21 years old. The cougars
above ground, who are really old people that look like they’re 21, better know
me as a thingling. A thingling is someone who doesn’t take
their anti-aging shots and stays true to their age. The year is 3020 and men
and women around the world are youth crazy. My parents have told me that
people’s youth obsession all started because of the repeated anti-aging
commercials that were marketed on TV years ago. They said that every other
commercial that appeared on TV was selling some sort of anti-aging product. Men
became even more obsessed with not becoming bald due to the countless
commercials of “Hair For Men,” that
featured dozens of smiling old men with heads full of hair.
There were
also the anti-aging commercials for women that were even worst than the men’s
commercials in my opinion. These commercials were filled with a number of
testimonials from multiple women who swore by these chemically laden creams.
The anti-aging creams hypothetically smoothed out all their wrinkles the same
way that an iron would smooth out the creases of a wrinkled shirt. All these
creams and serums however never really seemed to work for long. After awhile,
the men started losing their hair again and the women were starting to witness
reappearing acts from their wrinkles.
People
started to grow angry and depressed then, and so in order to promote the
happiness of all its people, the government decided that they would administer
annual anti-aging shots created by the most advanced doctors. These shots were
so strong, in a matter of a week of them sinking in, they would make any
individual, at any age look like they were 21 again.
Of course
some people rebelled against the now mandated anti-aging shots that the
government forced people to take every year, some of those people include my
parents. My parents believed (and still believe) that there is more wisdom and
grace in aging than there is in remaining young forever. For these reasons,
they decided to move underground before the government could catch them and
arrest them. That’s when I was born.
Occasionally
I visit the world above ground just to check out what’s going on, and to
honestly just people watch. Awhile back, I met this girl named Sally, and she
was one of the most interesting girls I’ve ever spoken to. The only problem was
was that she was Cougar and I was a thingling. Sally was actually forty-five,
but that didn’t really bother me. To me she was the sexiest, 21-yr-old-lookin,’
forty-five year old I’ve ever met.
When I
first met her, I lied to her and told her that I was a cougar too and that I
just moved down the block. I played off this lie for months until one day she
caught on, because she followed me back home, to my real home…
***
After
countless months of begging Sally to give me another chance and delivering handpicked
dandelions to her door (her favorite flowers), she finally accepted my apology.
We’ve been taking it slow ever since.
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